Don’t lose your humanity!
An important reframe on peace.
The past week has been hard. I’m grieving the death of innocent Israelis and Palestinians and can’t even imagine the terror of the people taken hostage and their families. I’m trying to witness and hold space for the repeating trauma of “we are being exterminated” for both Israeli and Palestinian people. I see you in your fear, pain and desperation. ❤️
I’ve not said much besides contacting my Jewish and Palestinian friends and colleagues. And it is not for lack of care, but words. Filled with grief, rage, disappointment, disbelief and all the feelings we’re feeling collectively, they eluded me. It’s taken me a week to find my centre to offer it to people who need it most.
I’ve turned to history to look for wisdom, both the history of Israel and Palestine and the history of the Balkan territory, my home. I’m continuously educating myself.
I want to share the context of where I’m coming from because our stories tie into our perception and experience of the world.
The history of my homeland
I am Slovenian and come from a territory with many centuries of war and foreign domination (The Romans, the Ottoman Empire, Napoleon, Austro-Hungary, and the Kingdom of Italy have all been masters of our lands). Slovenia had periods of sovereignty during the Kingdom of Serbs, Croats and Slovenes and the Kingdom of Yugoslavia and then as a sovereign republic of Slovenia as part of the Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia.
We lived in relative peace, the 23 million people in Yugoslavia, until June 25th 1991, when my home country of Slovenia and our neighbours Croatia declared our independence. The day after, Slovenia was attacked by the Yugoslavian national army. I was 13.
I remember my parents’ instructions for what to do when the sirens wail. I remember them forbidding us to go into the forest behind the house because a Yugoslavian army’s military base was atop that hill. I remember the shelter in the basement, filled with water, food, medical supplies, a gas canister for cooking and blankets. I remember my mother’s panicked voice as she tried to keep it cool. None of it made sense, but I ran home when I heard the sirens.
Slovenia got out after a short 10-day war; the rest of our southern neighbours weren’t so lucky. In 1992, Bosnia’s Declaration of Independence followed, and war ensued there. In 1995, the Srebrenica genocide happened. I was 17.
Srebrenica was declared a safe area by the UN and with UNCHR forces on the ground to protect it. Much of the international community passively stood by in inaction while over 7000 boys and men were killed, and more than 20,000 people fled. Many are still unaccounted for.
The political and military leaders responsible were later caught and convicted of crimes against humanity, genocide and violations of the laws of war by a special UN war crimes tribunal in The Hague. To this day, 30 years later, there is a denial of this genocide by some right-wing politicians, leading to renewed tensions. The wound never healed, and there is a real risk of the cycle of violence repeating. You see, the ethnic cleansing was also done to the Serbian population of Krajina during WWII by the Independent State of Croatia. And so, the perpetrated became the perpetrators, and the cycle repeated. The violence is systemic; it’s in the relationship.
The cycle of violence
I’m telling you all this because this is the collective scar pulling in me. And because none of us is exempt from it. It could have been us. It could be us. So many times, we promised ourselves - never again. Yet here we are.
I stand in utmost humility at the complexity at play in Palestine and Israel. My stance goes beyond politics. I will not be silent about the civilians being killed in Gaza, most of whom are refugees and half of whom are children. With nowhere to flee, no safe exit corridors bombed hospitals and a complete blockade of humanitarian aid, food, water, fuel and electricity. These are crimes against international humanitarian law. This is genocide. And if we don’t stop it, it will spawn another cycle of violence and another one after that, and potentially an escalation of violence across the entire region for generations to come. We’re already seeing the rise of anti-Muslim and anti-semitic violence worldwide. Nobody wins in this except the military complex. If you’re in doubt, please read the 10 stages of Genocide by the Holocaust Memorial Day Trust.
NOT IN MY NAME.
And I ask: have we completely lost our humanity - and imagination?
A new way forward
There is another way! It’s born of the best part of us. I know the love, care, compassion and creativity we are capable of as humans. I know the beauty of human connection, community and interdependence. I can imagine the world that is possible when we step into wisdom, listen to our hearts, overcome fear and denounce the binary of either/or, us and them. So, I call for immediate de-escalation of violence. Open the humanitarian aid corridors and guarantee their safety. Negotiate a peaceful solution.
I wish for all people, Palestinian and Israeli, Muslim and Jewish:
a place to call home, safe from terror and violence, religious or otherwise
the right to sovereignty and self-determination
freedom from discrimination and dehumanisation
that your stories are told, heard and witnessed
that your grief is validated
that you are supported and loved
that you see your children grow up in peace
I wish for our wider human community to find a way to bridge our differences, to listen for understanding, to extend some grace and a bid to repair, to suspend judgment and othering and to stop the hierarchical ranking of who is suffering more and deserves more compassion. Each story, each pain, is unique and can be held and witnessed as such. It is not relative to someone else’s pain.
We need to meet each other in it all and allow the grieving. We can engage with respect and curiosity even when we disagree. And we can connect in our humanity before talking politics. It’s what ties us to one another. Our joint wish for freedom. Our joint pain, loss and grief. Our joint hope for a better future for our children.
And isn’t this a foundation worth building on? ❤️🕊️ You can start building that foundation right where you are, in your teams, families, and communities. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.
PS. I am only open to conversations with a genuine intention of listening to understand, grace and empathy.